Cancer patients, in addition to requiring excellent medical care, also need comprehensive information to understand what to expect, as well as support in managing the complex emotions that often accompany a cancer diagnosis.
While the primary focus is understandably on the cancer patient, the emotional and informational needs of their families are sometimes neglected. It’s uncommon to find healthcare professionals dedicated to addressing the welfare of the family following a cancer diagnosis in one of its members.
My awareness of the impact on children of cancer patients grew when I started providing cancer risk information to adult women whose mothers had battled breast cancer. The intensity and rawness of the emotions these daughters harbored about their mothers’ illness and its impact on their lives were striking. Years after the diagnosis, these daughters were still profoundly affected, living in what could be termed ‘shadowed lives,’ constrained by fears and a sense of impending doom, feeling alienated and struggling with intimacy.
Adults of both genders who experienced a parent’s cancer diagnosis during their childhood often anticipate a similar fate for themselves. They live in anxiety over their own cancer risks, sometimes even feeling guilt for their worries. They struggle with establishing a healthcare routine that offers both safety and a sense of security. Many neglect medical care due to a pervasive sense of fatalism, feeling like hypochondriacs.
Parents and spouses of cancer patients have shared their feelings of confusion, loneliness, and exclusion from their loved one’s treatment and life. They express feelings of betrayal by modern medicine or being overwhelmed by suddenly having to manage finances and child-rearing alone.
These families greatly benefit from several forms of support:
- Guidance through the Medical Care System: Families often struggle with navigating the healthcare system and understanding the roles of various specialists. Clear information and guidance can alleviate much of their confusion and anxiety.
- Accurate Cancer Risk Assessment: Many people believe they are at high risk of cancer if a close relative is diagnosed. Understanding the hereditary and non-hereditary factors of cancer risk, presented in clear, meaningful terms, can be reassuring.
- Comprehensible Risk Information: Risk data should be presented in a format that is understandable to non-scientists, with clear time frames and absolute terms rather than comparative risk figures.
- Understanding of Cancer Development: Knowledge about how cancer cells develop can demystify the disease and aid in clear thinking about cancer.
- Effective Communication: Open communication within the family about the situation, feelings, and needs strengthens familial bonds and promotes emotional health.
Children of Cancer Patients: Children are often more aware and affected by a parent’s cancer diagnosis than parents realize. Honest communication about the situation, tailored to the child’s age and understanding, is crucial.
Spouses/Partners of Cancer Patients: The emotional burden on spouses is often overlooked. Open communication about fears and needs, and involvement in treatment decisions, can strengthen the couple’s relationship and provide mutual support.
Friends and Relatives: Misunderstandings and distance can occur when friends and relatives are unsure how to approach someone with cancer. Open communication and reassurance can maintain and even strengthen these relationships.
A comprehensive approach to support families dealing with cancer is essential. This would ideally involve a team of professionals including physicians, genetic epidemiologists, and psychotherapists to address medical, risk-related, and emotional concerns, supporting the family unit’s overall well-being and helping with the challenges they face.